The quality of the relationship between parents and their children is one of the key elements that determines the psychological development of the child and determines his overall well-being way into adulthood.
Researchers have found that two main dimensions in parents behavior have a deep impact on kids well being as they grow , these are the degree of parental control and the degree of parental warmth or responsiveness.
Parents who are very controlling tend to invade their kids privacy and don’t allow them to have or express freely their own opinions, they also do not allow their children to make their own decisions and they foster too much dependence on them.This form of control is called psychological control and is very detrimental to the child and it was found to be associated with a higher risk for psychological and emotional disorders at both adolescence and adulthood.
On another hand there is another form of parental control that fosters good development in children, this form is called behavioral control.It consists in teaching the child to conform through his behavior with social and moral norms and rules of conduct.Simply put, this means teaching your child manners and a sense of boundaries.This form of control was found to protect the child against psychological disorders.
The second dimension that affects children well-being is parental warmth and responsiveness.People whose parents showed warmth and responsiveness had higher life satisfaction and better mental well-being throughout early, middle and late adulthood.And this consists mainly in giving the child the appropriate level of attention and most importantly unconditional love.When we say unconditional love, this means you should never suggest to your child indirectly or ever tell him directly that your love for him is a reward for good behavior, and this is a mistake I have seen many young couples indulge in when their child misbehave as they threaten him to not love him anymore if he doesn’t do such and such.These kind of threats damage the child self-esteem and self-image and can have everlasting impact on his self-confidence.The formula in the mind of the child is simple:” If mammy doesn’t love me, it means there is something wrong with me”, and children who grow up with such belief reach the conclusion that they are not lovable by anyone and they spend all their life searching for love in all the wrong places, chasing it in addictions, risky behaviors, and choosing inaccessible partners that are incapable of loving anyone.
My point from this article comes down to this:” As a parent we have a tremendous capacity to induce irreparable damage to our child psyche if we are not careful and most importantly mindful about what we tell them and how we behave towards them”. I am sure someone will jump in and tell me but kids sometimes drive you crazy and you run out of tricks to keep them in check!! That is true. But I think a good way to make sure you are responding in the right way and not simply reacting out of anger and frustration, is to take a deep breath and ask yourself before you throw this threat or punishment “what kind of skill will my behavior or command in this moment help build in my child in 10 years from now?” If the answer is fear, lack of initiative, inhibited creativity or lack of curiosity for exploration, or passiveness then you should probably think how to reframe your words into something more constructive.
For more details on the topic refer to the original article on the following link:
I invite you to watch this very interesting video by Dr Ester Perel, a psychologist and couple therapist and author.
She analyzes in great depth the thought process that can drive a person to cheat and explains the different psychological needs that people are trying to fulfill through an affair.
I think understanding these needs and thought process is very important to anyone who is in a love relationship as it will help you make your relationship immune to adultery.
Beyond the slightly noisy intro, this track is magical in its lyrics, my favorite lines personally
holding in to all that you can be…
out of the darkest night, there will be light again…
we are heading up high where no harm will get in our way…
we will never touch ground again…
Now it is a long way down…
I dedicate this song to all of you who are fighting your daily fights whether at work, in your relationships and with your health , remember when you are heading up high , no harm can get in your way
Winston Churchill once said, when you are going through hell, keep going
I would say keep the faith, heaven has a plan for all of us and it’s happiness
Keep holding on to all you can be with all your heart and soul
Have you ever wondered when in front of the salmon shelf in the supermarket why some have very thin white strips while others have very thick ones? You think this detail is insignificant, wrong! Think again.
Salmon with very thin white strips and deep red color is wild salmon, it is fished in the ocean which means it was born and grown in its natural habitat , eating what a normal salmon should eat that is plankton, fish, squid, eels, shrimps and most importantly krill which is a small crustaceans that lives in the ocean and that is very rich in omega 3 , which results in healthy salmons very rich in omega 3.
On the other hand, salmon with very thick white strips and light pink color is farmed salmon.What does farmed salmon mean and why is it bad for you? Well, farmed salmon is raised in artificial fish farms and fed with a monstrous mix of chicken flesh, genetically modified grains and other fish.And since it doesn’t have much room to swim , it is more prone to diseases and thus fed antibiotics also.
The result is that farmed salmon has almost half the omega 3 content of wild salmon which makes it less nutritious especially that mega-3 fatty acids has been shown to reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease in adults and promote healthy vision and brain development in infants.
Second and most importantly, farmed salmon has a high level of contamination with PCB which are organic contaminants that are associated with cancer, hormone dysfunction and imbalance and neurotoxicity.
So next time you are buying your salmon make sure to read either Alaskan salmon or wild salmon on the labe
We all know that kids need more sleep than adults to develop in a healthy way. In fact, extensive studies exist that show that sleep deprivation (not getting enough sleep) can lead to hypertension and obesity, learning, attention and memory dysfunction and in teenagers it can lead to depression and in extreme cases to psychosis (which is a state of deep mental confusion where reality mixes with imagination and absurd ideas called delusions start submerging the mind and hallucinations are often present). But how much sleep is enough sleep for our youngsters? That is the central question every parent should be mindful of.
New guidelines by the american academy of sleep medicine answers this question by defining the amount of sleep kids need depending on their age bracket:
- Below 1y old-12 to 16 hours a day
- 1-2 year old kids need 11 to 14 hours per day
- 3-5 years old need 10 to 13 hours per day
- 6-12 year olds need 9-13 hours per day
- 13-18 year old need 8 to 10 hours of sleep per day
Experts recommend to time bedtime at the same hour every day and keep all electronic devices outside the child room because light from these devices stimulate wakefulness and messes the kids internal biological clock.
for more details on the topic, refer to the original study on the following link:
Breastfeeding affects the baby’s brain development studies have found and although old recommendations used to preach that for a healthy development babies should be breastfed at least six months , new evidence shows that breastfeeding up to one year old increases the baby IQ.
The study found that , an infant who had been breastfed for at least a year gained a full four IQ points compared to another breastfed for less than one month.
In addition, research from the University of North Carolina Health Care System has found additional benefits showing that breastfeeding protects the baby from premature death and protects the mother health from serious diseases such as breast cancer, pre-menopausal ovarian cancer, diabetes, hypertension and heart attacks.
For more details, refer to the original article on the following link: